


Roomba-san

by espeon



Category: Collar x Malice (Visual Novel)
Genre: CxMSS2018, F/M, Gen, Minor cameos from others
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 04:19:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17175740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espeon/pseuds/espeon
Summary: Quite frankly, Ichika had no idea what to expect when Kei barged in through the window, but it certainly wasn't being recruited to find a lost roomba.





	Roomba-san

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my CxM2018 Secret Santa recipient Hyper! I tried following the prompts they wrote that they’d enjoy seeing as much as possible while throwing in some of my own. 
> 
> Happy Holidays/New Years! ♥

When Ichika visited Yanagi and Mineo's apartment to try out some of Yanagi's cooking that Mineo insisted on her trying, she hadn't anticipated...  _ this. _

__

 

Granted, when it came to Kei Okazaki, his appearances were a wild card to begin with.

 

The three of them were sitting at the couch, eating Yanagi's (admittedly better than her own) cooking with Mineo carrying the conversation, complaining about Takeru's recent rebuttals to his antics (the usual, really), then as soon as she took another bite of the tempura shrimp on her plate,

 

a distinguishably loud sound emitted from the direction of outside, then a rattle from the window, and as soon as Ichika glanced over with curious widened eyes the window flung open with Kei's head poking inside the apartment.

 

Yanagi's brow twitched. Mineo freaked out. Ichika tried not to drop her plate.

 

You know, the usual.

 

Kei ignored the reactions all the same, head tilt to the side with an 'o' forming on his lips, scanning the facility. His eyes quickly glanced over Yanagi and Mineo without an afterthought -- Mineo's yelling at him to pay attention when he's speaking being disregarded --- and as soon as Kei met eyes with Ichika, it was as if warning bells rung in her ears from how his mood seemed to brighten immensely. 

 

"'OY!!!! OKAZAKI!!!"

 

Admittedly, Ichika was starting to tune Mineo out as well -- out of pure habit, of course, not with any hidden malice. Yanagi seemed intent to be ignoring everything that's happening as he took another bite of his food, eyes closed, almost as if he thought if he didn't acknowledge the scene unfolding before him it'd just solve itself. 

 

"Ah! Ichika-chan~~~!!" 

 

His eyes smiled with his lips as he did a boyish wave. Obviously, this action didn't please Mineo, but at this point not a single resident in the room was paying attention to him.

 

"You're visiting today~ Ahh, I'm so glad I came by."

 

"YOU WEREN'T INVITED!" Mineo's voice rang in the background, falling on deaf ears. 

 

"E-Er... what brings you here, Okazaki-san?" Ichika decided to play the 'diplomatic' route, or more like decided she wouldn't be able to escape this conversation. Her face showed obvious signs of confusion, but it was hard to tell if Kei either ignored it or simply didn't notice.

 

Kei was difficult to read for her.

 

"You see, I bought another Roomba-san recently..." His voice grew soft, eyes randomly going watery making Ichika question the integrity of this conversation, "And it seemed tired so I opened the door of my apartment letting it out for a walk--"

 

"IT'S A MACHINE!!!" Mineo's voice rang in the background, once again being tuned out.

 

"And when I turned around to get a drink for it at the soda machine---"

 

"IT DOESN'T NEED ANYTHING TO DRINK, IT'S A MACHINE--" Mineo's voice rang in the background, practically talking to himself at this point.

 

"Roomba-san was gone! I looked everywhere in the hallway, and I couldn't find it. What if it's been kidnapped, or even worse, lost in the city?"

 

"It's just a Roomba..." At this point, Mineo sounded defeated since no one was acknowledging his words, Yanagi continuing to ignore everything transpiring in front of him.

 

"O-Okazaki-san--" Ichika was bewildered, looking at the other two residents in the room for help in a response. Mineo was in his own little world from being ignored until just now, not registering that  _ finally  _ he got recognition in some form, meanwhile Yanagi was purposefully avoiding eye contact with her.

 

If Kei noticed Ichika was at a loss, he didn't comment on it, wiping (probably fake) tears from his eyes. 

 

"I need to find it before something bad happens to it... will you help me, Ichika-chan~~?" 

 

His voice ended in a whine, Kei leaning even further in the room from the window as if the closer he was the more difficult it would be to politely decline. 

 

She hesitantly looked back at Kei after failing to get backup from either of the men in the room, a nervous laugh escaping her lips, 

 

"O-Of course."

 

Her confirmation was music to his ears, Kei instantly cheering up (fake tears mysteriously disappearing), eyes smiling with his lips as he finally stepped in the apartment through the window, making a show of unnecessarily dusting himself.

 

Ichika could just hear the clock ticking with each gesture he performed.

 

Tick. 

 

Mineo slumped in a corner mumbling to himself that 'he has great ideas dammit' and 'okazaki is an asshole'.

 

Tock. 

 

Yanagi gathering all the leftover dishes of the food they've ate, retreating to the kitchen.

 

Tick. 

 

Kei looking at her with his eyes sparkling, a childish look on his face.

 

Tock.

 

The room grew silent as she felt the weight of his hand enclosed around her own, fingers intertwining as he swung their arms back and forth, eyes drifting from the door leading to kitchen to Mineo's back.

 

"Mom, dad, I'll be stealing Ichika-chan away~~~"

 

That seemed to snap Mineo out of his supor, calling out, 'WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME---' as Kei selectively ignored his cries of protests, leading Ichika out the door without a care in the world, humming to himself.

 

He either didn’t notice or didn’t bother recognizing Kageyuki right outside the door to the apartment, presumably paying Yanagi a visit, but as Ichika looked over at him with a worried look on her face, all she got in response was an amused smirk.

 

She shouldn’t be surprised at this point, she sighed to herself as she accepted her fate.

 

But the biggest burning question is...

 

_ what did she get herself into? _

 

* * *

  
  


“W-Where are we heading to first, Okazaki-san?”

 

Ichika couldn’t hide her nervousness in front of him, needing some semblance of conversation as they’ve been walking for a few minutes without a single word exchanged, but Kei didn’t note the tone in her voice and had enough energy for the both of them when he sent her a beaming smile,

 

“I have no idea~~”

 

If he wasn’t holding her hand, Ichika would of probably fell over just from the lack of preparation the S.P officer showed.

 

“I… I see.” She replied with a nervous laugh. Kei smiled at her all the same, using their entwined hands to continuously swing their arms back and forth. Ichika wish she could simply ask him to stop, but she had a feeling he’d pout and retort to that request and she…

 

She what? Didn’t mind as much as she thought? Was she just embarrassed? 

 

She didn’t give her mind the time to decipher her emotions during this dilemma, instead glancing back over at Kei,

 

“Shall we… go back to the scene of the disappearance of the roomba, then?”

 

It even sounded ridiculous to her own ears that his entire event transpired due to a ‘missing roomba’, but she knew if she didn’t at least offer some assistance to Kei they could be out all day with fruitless award. 

 

“Good idea, Ichika-chan.” He seemed appreciative of her response, nodding in agreement.

 

“In that case…” His voice trailed off as he stirred the both of them in another direction, presumably to his apartment complex as he led them both to avoid running into random passengers distracted from talking with a friend, being on their phones, the reasons were endless, as he didn’t give any of them a single glance.

 

Times like this Ichika forgot he was trained to be observant. From how lax he was in nature, you’d never expect him to have professionalism.

 

However, Kei slowed and eventually stopped in his step causing a curious Ichika to look ahead to see who it was ---

 

Takeru greeted her line of vision, a doughnut in his mouth with a brown shopping bag inevitably containing more doughnuts. Judging by the eye twitch on his face, he did not appreciate being spotted by Kei (and probably her in the long run). 

Kei, naturally, ignored the obvious body cue as he waved to Takeru with a smile on his face.

 

“Takeru-kun!! Can I have one?”

 

“No.” The response was immediate, the annoyance in his voice prominent. His grip on his shopping bag tightened instinctively, fully prepared to deal with an curious Okazaki meddling in his affairs (in this case, food).

 

“Stingy~~” Kei whined, but he didn’t seem very much affected by the disapproval Takeru was showing at all. On the contrary, he seemed amused as his smile widened.

 

“Ne, ne. Can I ask for your help?”

 

“I don’t want---” Takeru was quick to decline, but Kei was quicker to cut off his retort before he finished.

 

“You see, my roomba has gone missing! I don’t know if it got kidnapped, or lost, or even… destroyed!” Kei looked distraught, and Ichika wondered just how good one human being could be on acting over something so mundane as she briefly glanced at him in wonder.

 

Takeru seemed to share the same sentiment, if the furrowed brow and eye twitch of agitation wasn’t obvious enough already. 

 

“I gratefully have Ichika-chan to help out,” At this, he raised their entwined hands to her utter embarrassment, Ichika looking away from the scene with flushed cheeks -- she didn’t need to see Takeru’s expression of disapproval even more, “and more eyes would be better than none!”

 

“I’m busy.” His response was quick, deadpanned, offering no rebuttal. 

 

“That’s ok! All I need for you to do is to hang this against a surface for people to see!” Kei responded, ignoring every single social cue Takeru was emitting to leave him alone as he used his free hang to dig into his pocket, pulling out a crinkled flyer. He handed it over to Takeru with a smile on his face, Takeru doing nothing to hide his disgust as he wrinkled his nose. 

 

Probably realizing he has no choice in this matter if he wants Kei to leave him alone, Takeru took the flyer with a free hand and saw the most childish drawing he’s ever seen in his life.

 

“It’s a circle, Okazaki.”

 

“Yes, Roomba-san is circular in shape.” Kei responded, smile still set on his face.

  
  


“... It’s a circle.” Takeru repeated, slowly this time, almost as if he thought if he threw logic in Kei’s face he’d realize that literally no one could decipher that this was supposed to symbolize a roomba.

 

“Yes.” Kei quipped, showing no signs of ceasing his smile and Ichika could of sworn she saw a black aura emitting from Takeru when she briefly glanced back over at them, then looking away just as quickly in the hopes that maybe if she didn’t do anything she wouldn’t be part of this conversation.

 

“...” Takeru didn’t respond at first, an annoyed sigh escaping his lips as he continued staring at the flyer, chewing on his doughnut. The flyer offered absolutely nothing else worth mentioning --- generic writing  **_‘LOST, PLEASE FIND ROOMBA-SAN’_ ** written on the top with a brief contact number at the bottom, presumably Kei’s messenger app’s ID. 

 

This had to be a joke. This just had to.   
  


“If I played along, would you leave me alone?” Takeru finally inquired, deadpanned.

 

“Yes.” Kei responded quickly, ignoring the bite behind Takeru’s words.

 

He sighed again, waving the paper as a farewell as he walked around them both, briefly eyeing Ichika as he left the scene. 

 

Ichika had no idea if that was pity in his eyes, or amusement that she got stuck having to babysit Kei through his antics.

 

To his credit, as Ichika turned her head around to see him off, Takeru showed no signs of simply crumbling the paper even further and throwing it off somewhere. Chances are he’ll throw the task onto Mineo if he ends up venturing inside Yanagi’s apartment. Poor Mineo…

 

A single tug of their (still!!!) entwined hands caught her attention as she glanced back at Kei, smile still prominent on his face as he brought their held hands to his lips, and she could of sworn she felt his lips on the back of her palm ---

 

“Let’s go!”

 

The blush on her face was enough of a response for him, paying no heed to her silence as he continued directing them to his apartment.

 

* * *

 

During their walk, they made several side stops --- looking around trash cans, behind trees, the list was endless; however, despite how exaggerated their investigation for a lost roomba turned out being, Ichika found herself having fun with the situation, even to the point where when there was silent elapsed she didn’t fidget in her steps from nerves.

 

It probably helped that at this point Kei wasn’t talking about anything but himself -- mostly his roomba, but when Ichika inquired about the whereabouts of Yoshinari, his partner, and if he was helping them look around in another part of the city Kei simply shook his head and replied he was in the hospital.

 

Ichika feared the worst for him after hearing that, prying on Yoshinari’s status and Kei didn’t seem all that bothered when he stated it was purely from food poisoning.

 

Pity and understanding dawned on her features as she assumed it was due to the… ‘unique’ taste in food Kei possessed, and a part of her had to (hopefully slickfully) inquire what was the last thing he ate.

 

‘Octopus and wasabi-flavored chips coated in chocolate’, he responded, head tilt as if he was talking about the weather. 

 

Yeah, she could see why he’d be out of commission for a few hours.

 

She decided to leave the conversation at that instead of asking for other things Kei’s forced-- er  _ asked _ \-- him to eat, eyes glancing around at the scenery of the park nearby his apartment they found themselves in.

 

Due to the recent X-day scares and shutdown, it wasn’t too lively -- there was only a few children playing without a care around the park with laughter in their steps, worried parents supervising them, trying to maintain a sense of normalcy.

 

The scene just reminded Ichika she has to work harder to find the culprits behind X-day when she’s back at work, a fist forming in her free hand with her grip on Kei’s hand tightening. If Kei noticed her sudden tension, he didn’t comment on it as he glanced over at the kids briefly, almost as an afterthought ---

 

Then he had to do a double take, due to the object they were throwing around in the sky.

 

“Roomba-san!?!” He cried out in surprise, eyes widened comically as he followed the gaze of the circular object.

 

Ichika jumped from his sudden outcry but quickly readjusted her gaze to see what he was referencing to…

 

… A frisbee being thrown around in the air.

 

“O-Okazaki-san, that’s a frisbee.” 

 

She was quick to correct him, nervous laughter escaping her lips at the end, Kei squinting his eyes to confirm Ichika’s statement. 

 

To be fair, the pattern on the frisbee closely resembled a roomba. A part of Ichika wondered why that’d be appealing to kids, but didn’t question it too much. 

 

Kei looked sullen as he further observed it, realizing it was in fact too thin to actually be a roomba (you’d think the actual reason would be that kids wouldn’t be able to throw a roomba of all things around the air like it weighed nothing, but at this point Ichika wasn’t going to question his logic if it got him out of suspecting innocent children of a ‘crime’.) and discarded that theory, simply nodded in response.

 

“I… I hope we find the roomba soon, Okazaki-kun.” She decided to offer a bit of encouragement, feeling like she kicked a stray puppy for the sullen expression on his face. She was fairly sure he was merely acting all of this, but she felt bad all the same.

 

He offered a small smile in response, not saying anything else but he did start swinging their elapsed hands around again as he led them out of the park.

 

* * *

 

It felt like it took hours, but they finally arrived at Kei’s apartment complex, Ichika trying her best not to curiously look around at the environment Kei lived in when off work. Kei either didn’t notice or didn’t bother commenting on Ichika’s wandering eyes, looking back at her as he led the two of them up a few stairways. 

 

“We’re almost there, Ichika-chan~~”

 

Her eyes briefly glanced at him as she nodded in response, small smile set on her face. When his steps slowed, she looked back in front of them and… 

 

Lo and behold, the scene of the crime itself -- a simple beverage machine.  Suspiciously, the area around it looked spotless, no fallen leaves found.

 

“Roomba-saaaaannn!!” Kei used his free hand to form a makeshift speaker around his lips to project his voice further, looking around the area. To no one’s surprise but perhaps only Kei’s, no roomba appeared at the sound of the owner’s voice. 

 

Instead of following Kei’s grand idea of simply calling out the roomba’s voice, Ichika glanced around the area once more, not even realizing she finally let go of Kei’s hand in the process of separately searching. 

 

She missed seeing Kei look down at the hand that was holding her own with an unreadable expression on his face, giving her back a glance as he decided to look around at another area of the scene. Not that there was much to look at but concrete, mind you. 

 

It was a long shot, a shot that Ichika figured that Kei did on his own but decided to chance it anyway, as she rotated her search to behind the vending machine --

 

And couldn’t hold her exasperation at what awaited her, slumping against the wall as a sigh escaped her lips.

 

The roomba somehow squeezed itself behind the soda machine, seemingly being in the process of trying to rid the back of fallen leaves that were neglected during cleaning checkups. It must be out of power.

 

“Okazaki-san, I found it.” 

 

Her voice sounded defeated even though she knew it should be the very opposite, wondering how Kei skimped over such a obvious ‘hiding spot’. Perhaps it wasn’t initially there? Perhaps he didn’t think it’d be stuck back there? 

 

Or perhaps she should stop thinking about this before she gets a headache.

 

Kei’s expression lit up quickly as he ‘nyoomed’ over to her spot, peering over her shoulders to see the shut-down roomba. She could practically feel the excitement and joy radiating from him as he eagerly gripped her shoulders, redirecting her to fully be against the wall a few inches away as he made to grab the roomba himself.

 

Safely secured in his hands, he removed the roomba from its hiding spot and held it as if he was holding onto a baby, patting it of dust and crumbled leaves with a free hand. Ichika couldn’t bring herself to comment on the scene, exasperation still on her features, but a part of her was relieved that they found it all the same.

 

That, and it was…  _ cute  _ seeing Kei act so childishly over a roomba. As always, he was filled with surprises that made Ichika even more confused about which layer of him is the ‘real’ one, if any.

 

Maybe she’ll find out someday, but for now that thought was discarded as she looked at the loving duo with a tired, yet happy, smile of her own.

 

* * *

 

She let them have their… ‘teary moment’, or rather let Kei have his own heartfelt moment as in the end of the day the roomba was, in fact, a machine. 

 

Soon after, Kei sent it off to recharge in his apartment, Ichika waiting outside his door awkwardly. A part of her was curious as to how his living conditions were like due to both his occupation and his… weird taste in snacks, but she respected his privacy and didn’t request to follow him inside when he stated he’ll be right back.

 

If he was okay with her going inside, he’d of said so, after all. 

 

Although, with the roomba found, she didn’t really know what to do with herself. With the sun starting to set, it would be a good time as any to go, but she also didn’t want to leave unannounced.

 

As Ichika was debating on simply leaving him a message, unsure of how long he’d take, it was as if Kei heard her inner turmoil as he opened the door to his apartment and stepped outside, securing it closed as he smiled at her. 

 

“Ichika-chan, I’ll take you home. I have a reward to give you for finding roomba-san, after all~~”

 

She was going to open her mouth in protest -- he didn’t have to subject himself to taking her home when he was, quite literally, right outside his, but he quickly cut her off.

 

“It’s nearing dark and it’s dangerous outside.” He stated this so casually that one would think he’s talking about the weather, head tilt, “Especially for you.” 

 

She didn’t know what he meant by that, but she could feel the weight of the collar trapped around her neck, a grim reminder of the X-day countdown.

 

“You’re right, Okazaki-san.” She conceded defeat, a small smile on her lips.

 

He returned her smile with his own, eagerly clasping her hand again as he quickly led her away from the apartment complex.

 

* * *

 

Quite frankly, Ichika still doesn’t know how the roomba ended up being found at such an obvious location, but she won’t look a gift horse in the mouth for finally being free of Kei’s antics. Even if they proved to be… fun. 

 

If she admitted that aloud, though, a part of her had a hunch that’d only further encourage Kei. Not like he needed more encouragement to do more of these silly events, though.

 

It was a cute sight to see Kei being childishly happy while walking her home, even if she insisted he didn’t have to hold onto her hand, he stubbornly refused to listen to her wishes with a pout on his face as his grip merely tightened. Naturally, Ichika caved with a sigh and allowed Kei’s antics, feeling her arm swung back and forth by his enthusiasm. 

 

It was almost ---  **_almost_ ** contagious; however, she couldn’t hide a smile forming on her lips as he escorted her home, the sun setting with the blanket of night slowly covering them.

 

Time passed by quickly, with a blink of an eye Ichika found themselves in front of her apartment complex as she looked up at him, Kei now holding both of her hands with his own, thumbs rubbing the back of her hand smoothly. At this point, the gesture felt almost natural Ichika couldn’t bring herself to comment on it, but the antic was making her… anxious? Embarrassed? She smiled shyly at him all the same as she neither encouraged nor stopped his actions.

 

Kei didn’t comment on it, instead smiling back at her, head tilt, a small chuckle escaping his lips.

 

“Now, for your reward~~” He sung, mischief lighting up in his eyes as he bent even close to her, causing her heartbeat to accelerate so quickly she was at a loss of what to do --

 

Wide eyes, flushed cheeks as she stares up at his purple eyes, light twinkles the corners. All she sees is her own reflection on them, almost as if she was glowing, ethernal.

 

Another chuckle escaped his lips, and she's almost ---  _ almost  _ entranced by the sound, if she wasn't vastly embarrassed by their proximity. He's close.  _ Way  _ too close. That's why her heart's beating faster, her head is spinning in circles, and she feels the need to simply calm down. Kei Okazaki was good at making her completely incapable of matching his pace, knowing what he's really thinking. 

 

What she was expecting… she wasn’t sure (that’s a lie), but it certainly wasn’t a boop to the nose with his own, even to the point of him saying the sound affect aloud. Truly, she was caught unaware.

 

He constantly teases her. He's probably teasing her right now, due to them hanging out from finding a roomba of all things ---

 

But as she took a hesitant step back as she quickly shoot her head to get her mind out of the gutter, she could of sworn when her eyes opened the briefest sign of a twitch on Kei's lips was shown. A small action, probably doesn't even mean anything but body language for Kei that showed what he was genuinely thinking was rare, as much as it was rare for him to be upfront about anything that wasn’t work related.

 

But she wanted to believe his gratitude for her accompanying him on his wild quest to retrieve a machine he shouldn't treat as a pet was real.

 

She wanted to believe Kei Okazaki was real.

 

That's what Ichika kept telling herself as she felt her cheeks refusing to cool down, the twinkle in Kei's eyes from inevitably amusement remaining in place.

 

"Did you like your reward, Ic~hi~ka~chan~~?" He inquired in a sing-a-long voice, mirth being even more obvious in his features. 

 

She refrained from sighing due to his antics; however, it wasn't difficult to see that she was flustered. Kei either didn't notice or ignored her obvious turmoil, as he followed her lead and took a step back of his own, not questioning a single thing.

 

He also didn't bother waiting for a response, perhaps stating it as more of a rhetorical question or simply not caring enough to hear her answer, or even knowing it'd be a question she'd hesitate in answering -- so many possibilities that Ichika didn't have a clue as to which one was correct -- as he clasped his hands behind his back with a spring in his heel, briefly bouncing his feet back and forth.

 

"Thank you, Ichika-chan."

 

His voice sounded sincere, as with that kind smile he did right after, closed eyes, head tilt, and aura radiating all the innocence in the world you wouldn't believe he was an S.P officer. 

 

"Have a nice night ~~ Stay safe. I'll bring you some snacks next time!" He waved an energetic goodbye before leaving her to the comfort of her home.

 

... And it was ruined again, a strange sense of dread tingling up her spine. If it was the same snacks that somehow lead Yoshinari to needing to go to the hospital, a part of her really wondered how Kei functions like a regular human being when he's not on duty. 

 

However, she would be lying if she wasn't looking forward to seeing him again, as confusing as he was. She likes to think that she's making progress in her friendship with him. That, or she was curious about the snacks he thinks taste unique. Morbidly curious, if Yoshinari's state was anything to go by.

 

A small smile was on her lips as she saw Kei's retreating back figure in the distance, the cool crisp night air tickling her cheeks, wondering what the next day would bring.

  
  



End file.
